A Hard Road to Travel

Sometimes the pain of life is overwhelming. My soul longs for it's eternal home and I am hidden behind a dark veil that seems will never lift. A month has passed with many hard lessons learned and more valleys than mountains.  There is a constant state of fatigue and an overwhelming sense of uselessness.  What is the point of showing the world His joy when I cannot even find it myself?  Is joy a thing that can only be a experienced every so often and only in fleeting glances? The answer that my soul longs for is "no". Sorrow will only last for a night but joy will come in the morning.  Yet this has been a long night for my soul. I am beginning to see a glimpse of the sun on the horizon but only a few rays.  Soon it will be fully risen and life will be once again colored with His light. But through it all, I know that He has never left me. Through it all, He has been standing right beside me though I was not conscious of it. I am never alone, no matter what my feelings tell me. And I live in that truth, in spite of it all.

Pleading with Him to leave

Matthew 8:34- Then the whole town went to meet Jesus. And when they saw him, they pleaded with him to leave their region.

How many times have we pleaded with Jesus to leave because something he did was strange, frightening or out of the ordinary? How many times have I? It is easy to condemn these people, but they just witnessed evil spirits come out a two men and into a herd of pigs that then went and jumped into the river.  Would I have asked him to leave? How many times in church have I felt uneasy or awkward because of something going on that I thought was strange?

How much have I missed of Jesus because I was uncomfortable with what he did or was doing?

The Cost

"It is not scientific doubt, not atheism, not pantheism, not agnosticism, that in our day and in this land is likely to quench the light of the gospel. It is a proud, sensuous, selfish, luxurious, church-going, hollow-hearted prosperity"
  -Frederick D. Huntington

Is it easier to follow God in a land overflowing with milk and honey, where even our poorest are in the top percentage of wealth on earth? Or should I wish to be in a place where I am daily reliant on God for everything, even my very existence? How do I get to that place of daily reliance when there is very little tangible things that I need from God?  Where are the miracles in my life that Jesus promised to His followers, that I would do "greater things" than He? Why doesn't my shadow heal a lame man as I walk by?

I know Love exists within me and therefore all things of Him dwell in me.  So then why do I not show them daily?

If I were truly asked to give everything I have up and follow Him, would I?  Would I really?  Would I give up all my savings, my retirement, my house, my clothes, my accessories?  What sacrifices have I truly made for Him?  Why have mine been so "easy" while people on the other side of the world are killed for what I believe in?

I love my stuff.  I love my country. I love vacations and clothes and buying things organic.  What if all that was taken away from me?  How much of "me" would be left?  Am I really that wrapped up in these things that I would lose a part of me if they went away?

How many people in America would continue to follow the Lord if he took everything they owned away from them?  Would I?

In this City

Song that is in my head and the cry of my heart...

Chris Tomlin "God Of This City"

"You're the God of this city
You're the King of these people
You're the Lord of this nation
You are

You're the light in this darkness
You're the hope to the hopeless
You're the peace to the restless
You are

There is no one like our God

Greater things have yet to come
Greater things are still to be done
In this city
Greater things have yet to come
Greater things are still to be done here"


God is moving. Lives are being changed.  Daily we see His hand's touching those around us.  May this city be known for it's Love. And may it start with me.

Starting My Journey

Today I am beginning a journey.

This is a journey toward Love.  A journey where only love matters.  A journey that I will willing give my life, my possessions, my everything for. I want a record of where Love takes me.  I want to see where He will lead.  This will be my life.  This is all I want to become: Love's hands extended to a hurting and dying world. A world that yearns for a Love that is right at their back if only they would turn around.  I want to show them true Love.  Love without agenda or desire for anything in return. 

I am not sure what my journey will look like or where it will take me.  Maybe no farther than reaching out to a neighbor or friend, maybe to the other side of the world.  Wherever He leads me, I will follow.

Thus, my journey begins...

1 Corinthians 13:4-8, 13